Morning Whip, July 15, 2005 presents the triumphant return of the Morning Whip!

For those of you new to, The Whip was a quick review of the day’s headlines from’s unique editorial viewpoint. It returns in a Top-10 List format, but you’ll have to click on the Morning Whip title above, or click “read more” below to get the goods. Click on an ad or two, too, if you see something interesting.

#10: Rove found out that Plame worked for the CIA . . . from the press[*1] .

Heh. Maybe the press should resign?

#9: Is Alzheimer’s disease reversible?[*2] Maybe–at least in mice.

Is it really as “easy” as switching off a gene?

#8: Donate your old cell phones[*3] to benefit orangutan preservation in Borneo.

If not for yourself, for Discworld’s Librarian[*4] .

#7: Related cell-phone news: the FAA says the ban on cell phone use in flight will stay in place[*5] .

I’m pretty libertarian about most things, but there’s something about sitting in an aluminum tube with 200 people, all chatting at the top of their lungs on their cell phones that puts me off.

#6: Federal deficit shrinks[*6] .

Pundits baffled. Here’s a hint–tax cuts work. So, Blame Bush.

#5: Chief Justice Rehnquist says he isn’t quitting yet[*7] .

Personally, I think it’s time for him to retire, but I’d rather that the five idiot Justices who voted to repeal the Fifth Amendment would leave first. Instead, O’Connor (who wrote the scathing dissent in that case) and maybe Rehnquist will be leaving. I fear for our Republic.

#4: Royals beat Detroit 12-9[*8] .

Royals need to go 50-24 to finish .500, 32-42 to avoid 100 losses.

#3: Space Shuttle may launch Sunday, but probably won’t[*9] .

Time to turn over the shuttle replacement project to Burt Rutan.

#2: London bombing mastermind reportedly arrested in Egypt[*10] .

He and his ilk need to be hunted down and destroyed. No quarter given.

#1: South Dakota State University men’s basketball team[*11] to participate in the Guardians Classic, to play Kentucky in the first round[*12] .

SDSU’s women’s team gained their first ever victory after moving up to Division I against the Kentucky Wildcat women. SDSU’s men face a tougher task in trying to beat Kentucky in Rupp Arena, but hey, isn’t having a chance what it’s all about, Rocky?

The Slinky Song

We were sitting around my sister’s kitchen table and trying to remember the lyrics to the Slinky Song.

They’re here[*1] .

A .wav of the song is here[*2] .

London Attacked

London: a new and bloody chapter for al-Qaeda?[*1]

An unknown al-Qaeda cell in Europe claimed responsibility for the attacks in London today on the al-Qal’ah – or Fortress – internet site.

Reportedly, seven bombs went off in four London Underground subway stations and in one London bus, killing at least 40 and wounding over 1,000.

“We shall have no truce or parley with you, or the grisly gang who work your wicked will. You do your worst, and we will do our best….We do not expect to hit without being hit back, and we intend with every week that passes to hit harder. Prepare yourselves then, my friends and comrades, for this renewal of your exertions. We shall never turn from our purpose, however sombre the road, however grievous the cost, because we know that out of this time of trial and tribulation will be born a new freedom and glory for all mankind.” – Winston Churchill

The Plame Game

Power Line[*1] shreds, dices, slices, and otherwise utterly discredits an Associated Press[*2] article on the supposed Valerie Plame “scandal.”

This is the one where the right-thinking, upstanding and righteous Ambassador Joseph Wilson and his equally upstanding and trustworthy CIA employee wife Valerie Plame get involved with something called “yellowcake” that Saddam’s Iraq was trying to buy from the African country of Niger. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth resulted from the revelation somewhere along the line that Plame indeed works for the CIA.

Leaving aside the utter impropriety of an employee of the CIA being married to a U.S. Ambassador in the first place, the whole story has transmogrified into some X-Files conspiracy theory featuring Karl Rove (thunder & lightning sound effect, with neighing of horses) as the Cigarette-Smoking Man of the piece.

The Powerline article notes:

If you’re going to serve up a conspiracy theory–without any evidence, of course–shouldn’t the theory at least make some kind of sense?

Obviously John Hinderaker isn’t familiar with The X-Files. Ultimately, that show made absolutely no sense either, but it sure was popular until it collapsed under the weight of all those disparate conspiracy threads it was trying to work.

The Secret Is Out (Women Athletes are Hot)

Fortunately, I already got mine!

From Hey guys, women athletes are hot![*1]

. . . women athletes are like domestic appliances. They come in many colors and sizes, the new models perform tasks that were thought to be impossible a few years ago and some men still don’t know how to handle ’em.

Hat tip to Fark[*2] .