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That's no ape, that's a "person!"

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Lawyers want an Austrian court to declare a chimpanzee a "person."

"If we can get Hiasl declared a person, he would have the right to own property. Then, if people wanted to donate something to him, he'd have the right to receive it," said Theuer, who has vowed to take the case to the European Court of Human Rights if necessary.

Austria isn't the only country where primate rights are being debated. Spain's parliament is considering a bill that would endorse the Great Ape Project, a Seattle-based international initiative to extend "fundamental moral and legal protections" to apes.

Maybe I'm just being a Neanderthal, but I think this is just silly.